Hotline Miami Review

The game itself is a pretty poor clone of 1991’s arcade hit Smash TV, but instead of a game show, I guess your guy is just a crazy murderer.

The first problem I had is the UI. Its WASD to move and the mouse to aim. This is pretty awkward. Back in 1982 when they made Robotron 2084 they figured out the best control scheme for such a game is having 2 joysticks, one for moving and one for shooting. So naturally I ask why we aren’t using an XBOX controller for this, but, since they are acting like its 1991, no xbox 360 support exists. OK fine I’ll deal with this dreadful keyboard and mouse, but the mouse speed is so slow, let me speed it up like I’ve done with every shooting game released since WOLF3d. Sadly you cannot adjust the mouse sensitivity either.

One thing this game does have that Smash TV didn’t have was tons and tons of bugs. You can run into a room with 2 dudes in it, shoot one, the other will chase you about 10 feet, then suddenly loose interest and go back to patrolling the room again. I saw a dog run off the map entirely for no reason, and once an annoying error message popped up when I picked up a weapon. Bullets harmlessly pass through enemies when you shoot them at melee range,but fortunately they will miss you too. You can swing a melee weapon right through a wall or door like it isn’t there. For some reason it takes longer to load this game than Skyrim in spite of it being about 200 meg.

While the game itself is an unplayable disaster, the soundtrack is really terrific. Its almost worth suffering through the game just to listen to the fabulous electronic music. Its hypnotic. If you find anyone who believes this game is of any quality, simply mute their speakers and they will immediately come to their senses. 

Verdict: 60/100

One thought on “Hotline Miami Review”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *