On the vomited threshold of a private clinic appears presumably a man with a lamp instead of a head. “Ticket taken?!”- angrily ask him at the reception. Presumably the man can’t answer because he’s got a fucking lamp for a head. The lady behind the counter, frighteningly unnaturally rolling her eyes, writes him a referral to a therapist.
Near the right office all of eight people and ask who the last, it is not possible-it is clear why. All benches are occupied, so the client stands in the only free corner, right under the terrible frost smashing air conditioning.
“I just have to ask!»
The therapist’s been gone for three hours. He’s in the break room practicing with a magic wand he bought at the Harry Potter merchandise store. Quickly repeating the same movement, he hopes that sooner or later he will conjure at least 0.25 cold vodka. Instead, on the table in front of him appears a liter of seven hundred and “Ladoga”. The therapist removes the entire volume in three SIPS and, somehow gathered his thoughts, yet begins to perform his duties.
In a few minutes, the queue dissolves; presumably the man finds himself fastened to the chair, around puffing some hellish machine, raging tangle of incomprehensible fur-covered dust hoses.
Belching therapist, again leaving the post, whispers something in the ear of the machine operator; the into his coat pocket five bucks and pushes out of the Cabinet. Then he comes to the control panel and, clearly doubting his actions, begins to pull the levers and press the buttons. Bulky, but affectionate forceps grasp the head-lamp and begin to twist it against the clock. At this point, the 3D printer next door is printing a new head-for some reason female.
Two Point Hospital is the newest clinic management simulator made by former Bullfrog Studio employees. That, in turn, in the mid-nineties was the main supplier of games of this kind: after the cult Syndicate and Dungeon Keeper, these Englishmen released Theme Hospital, which was exactly the same as described in the paragraph above, only about other diseases.
In essence, this is all you need to know about Two Point Hospital. Verbatim remake, adaptation for modern platforms, the same old game in the new graphics-call it what you like. If twenty years ago you played a drunken game in the “Hospital”, today you do not even need tips — such things are eaten into the memory at the level of instincts.
Each mission in Two Point Hospital begins with the basic things: here we put the reception, here the toilet-and ends with a struggle with the flow of patients who are not always able to serve on time and, more importantly, correctly. The doctors, who also need to constantly improve, have a specialty, and sometimes you have to call for surgery some unfortunate ophthalmologist. Sometimes lucky, sometimes not-then the orderlies have to literally catch ghosts.
In addition, there are many subtleties. It would be good to put at the entrance of the machine with salty peanuts to make patients thirsty and the soda machine. The correct arrangement of plants in pots, air conditioners, racks with magazines — all this affects the mood of the client who can get angry and leave the hospital without waiting for his turn simply because he was terribly bored and unbearably stuffy.
In this game there are no levels of difficulty-instead, they give the opportunity to bring each hospital to the absolute and knock out, it seems, for a long time no longer fashionable “three stars”. After receiving the first, you can move to the next level, the second will open new equipment and diseases, the third will offer a test that is very easy to screw up. Suffice it to say that in Two Point Hospital, little happens automatically, and in the absence of due attention, some medical achievements are waiting for a rapid rollback. But the risk is justified: for the execution of special orders the game gives additional currency (no, you can not buy it for money), which you need to spend on new decorative and functional purchases for hospital rooms and corridors. These achievements are saved and move from mission to mission, so Yes-there is a sense
I can’t say that Two Point Hospital has the same charm as the 1997 original, but maybe that’s what retrograde tells me. Anyway, it can be safely ignored here.
The authors have tried hard to get closer to the classics, and their investments are noticeable. This is a very nice and meditative game that does not cause panic attacks, even when all things go to hell. Stupid, paradoxically funny jokes, very accurate satire and no serious grimace against the player-this is exactly what everyone was waiting for, who for twenty years was content with a single strategy on the topic. For everyone else, this is just an outstanding, deep and impossible cozy Manager game that is unlikely to become a classic, but will definitely take its rightful place among the best economic simulators of 2018.